At the end of 2020, I realized I had been living my life through a lens of fear, and I knew that if I wanted to experience growth, I needed to face it. In a continuing effort to live vulnerably, I began sharing my journey and asking for advice. That is how I was connected to Nathaniel McGuire, a marriage and family therapist in Indianapolis.
After noticing a trend in the role fear plays in everyones’ lives, Nathaniel developed the Fear Interview. In this experience, Nathaniel asks you to take on the role of your fear – to take on the persona that fear plays in your life and talk to yourself from that perspective.
This experience is wild! It showed me that I am my worst critic. I fear I am not good enough, that I’m letting people down (especially those closest to me), and that I don't deserve praise from my colleagues, peers, and friends.
“Fear will never waste its time on the worst of you, it’s job is to quiet the best of you.”
Fear tells me that I am selfish, but through this process, I discovered that actually I am for others. I desire to lead, mentor, and connect others, and I’m good at it. Instead of running from fear of letting others down, I am choosing to embrace the gifts God has given me and run towards this calling.
When the Fear Interview ended, Nathaniel encouraged me to create a fear statement - a statement that would help me to combat fear when I feel it taking over. I chose to write a letter:
I will not let you distract me from the fact that I am a complete and whole child of God. I will not allow you to distract me with being consumed about what others might think, with the narrative that I'm lesser than, with the narrative that God can't possibly work through a vessel like me.
Fear, I seek to kill you. I seek to destroy you so that you no longer have the ability to do that to me. Fear, I know that God has placed and stitched talents inside of my being and that his jealous heart desires me to use those in a way that brings glory to him - in a way that I can serve those around me. And I will not allow you to distract me with the lie that I'm doing that for selfish gain.
Fear, I am free of you, and today I will choose to not live under you.
What is fear saying to you? Where are you letting fear take control of your life and your perception of your dreams? Where does fear alter the things that you believe about yourself?