Advice from mom
In this minisode, Tiffany’s mom, Wendy, gives advice about navigating life's seasons. Wendy shares her wisdom on giving yourself grace through each stage of life, from raising children to facing an empty nest. She emphasizes the importance of being kind to yourself and recognizing whether a challenge is a temporary project or a permanent situation.
Tiffany and Wendy discuss practical tips for managing both "too much" and "too little" seasons, and the value of initiating help or service when you have the capacity. This episode is filled with relatable advice and comforting insights for anyone experiencing transitions and seeking balance in their lives.
Timestamps:
[00:00] Intro
[00:06] Life's changing seasons
[01:20] Navigating "too much" and "too little" seasons
[02:05] Differentiating between project and permanent challenges
[03:17] Final advice
Tiffany Sauder [00:00:01]:Welcome to Scared Confident. I'm your host, Tiffany Sauder.
Wendy Schwab [00:00:06]:So Brandi asked me the other day, mom, have you ever felt too young? You know, like, in a season or a stage? And I was thinking about that, you know, we're kind of bantering back and forth. I was like, yeah, you know, sometimes you just have to make it up. I thought of all the different seasons and stages, and you have to have grace on yourself because everything is new. Like, you don't get to practice it before you go into it. And I think that when I looked back on, like, now at 65, and just being a woman, like, one of the things that's consistent for a woman is things change, like, season to season to season. And I don't know if I could say it's more than a man, but it feels like it to me because I'm a woman, because of, you know, look forward to marriage, and then you're married, and then you have kids, and then they put away the baby bed, and then they go off to school, and then they go off to college, and then there's empty nest, and, like, there's just so many, like, seasons and changes, and he'd never done it before. But to really give yourself grace in those changes and be kind to yourself and not be hard on yourself, I think is really important. The sooner you learn to move from one season to the next season gracefully with grace, really, the more abundant and joyful your life is, because I found myself, and it's hard not to do this.
Wendy Schwab [00:01:20]:And I think that you need to allow yourself to do a little bit of it, but kind of grieve that past last stage if you need to, especially, you know, like, when all the kids move out of the house, if you loved being a mom when they were home, there's some sadness to that. And then there's two things that happen sometimes at my stage is too much or too little. And so in the too little stage, I call it make soup days. And I shared this with my really good friend Gina, is literally make soup or make some cookies or something, and then somebody comes to the door and you can give it to them. And then you have a conversation or a nephew stops by, you know, and they're hungry, you know, and it's like, literally makes you do something when you're lonely. And then the too busy times is sometimes there are two busy times. I don't know if there's ever, like, a perfect time.
Tiffany Sauder [00:02:05]:Yeah, it's like the. Yeah, I think of, like, goldilocks and the three bears it's like the perfect porridge is rarely available. And I think it is like what you're saying, knowing how to navigate the seasons is really mastering life. It's not getting it to a place where it's in perfect equilibrium. So what's your advice for when it's a too much season?
Wendy Schwab [00:02:25]:I think for when it's a too much season, like, understand what it is, it's too much, because right now, for me, I feel like I have a lot, but a lot of those things are things that do take me that I can't offload or don't want to. That regards my mom and taking care of her house and stuff.
Tiffany Sauder [00:02:41]:Is it project or permanent?
Wendy Schwab [00:02:43]:Is it project or permanent? Yes.
Tiffany Sauder [00:02:44]:And so you've got some projects that are going on that are kind of pushing you a little over capacity. But knowing their project, I think about that, too. I was gone for basically two and a half weeks. I was home one day in two and a half weeks, and I got back and things were just very hard. And I was like, this is not permanent hard. This is project hard. And it's helpful for me to look at my life and say, is it unsustainable temporarily, or is it unsustainable, like, by design, by its ingredients? Because those take two different kinds of reactions.
Wendy Schwab [00:03:17]:And then sometimes when there's too little to remind yourself that this could be an oasis and not be bored in it, but just enjoy it. Just let yourself relax.
Tiffany Sauder [00:03:27]:I think those are seasons too. Like, what you're saying in your too little idea, too, is, like, where you maybe need to be the, like, one who initiates because you have the capacity to go help and serve where when you're in a too much, you are a taker usually in those seasons. Like, yeah, I need help. Yeah, I need you to do this thing. Can you run carpool in my world? Versus being able to be like, hey, I can drive literally every day this week because I don't have that much. So whatever the thing is in your season, I think that's right. Great advice, mom.
Wendy Schwab [00:03:55]:Thank you.
Tiffany Sauder [00:03:55]:Thanks for jumping on.
Speaker C [00:03:58]:Thank you for joining me on another episode of Scared confident. Until next time, keep telling fear. You will not decide what happens in my life.
Tiffany Sauder [00:04:07]:I will.
