From Scared Confident to Life of And: The Next Chapter

Tiffany Sauder [00:00:00]: I forgot completely how to be me. I was so defined by my roles. If you asked me who I was, I would say, I'm a CEO. I was a mom. I was a daughter. I was, you know, I went to church, I went to the gym. Like, these were roles that I played. But if you asked me, like, who are you, Tiffany? It would, like, make me cry because I felt so scared. Tiffany Sauder [00:00:26]: I didn't know what to say to you. I'm Tiffany Sauder, entrepreneur, wife, mom to four girls, and a woman figuring it out just like you. If you're tired of living a life of have to and finally ready to build a life of, want to, then you're in the right place. Come on, let's go build your Life of And. I'm better at the tasks of life than I am at the feelings of life. When somebody asked me why I started this podcast, I don't actually totally remember why, except that I felt this gravitational pull for some reason to start pushing record. And I think if I actually journaled, if I go back and try to, like, get it to code or ring out. But why did I start this? I was coming out of 2020, and it wasn't like I was like, oh, hey, everybody's starting a podcast, so I should too. Tiffany Sauder [00:01:25]: I think there was so much in me, and I have such a hard time as a human being creating the stillness for my thoughts to come out, the stillness for me to be able to really understand and see my feelings, to give myself the time to actually export to myself what am I going through so that I can capture the learnings. I'm so drawn to the tasks of life. I'm so drawn to my to do list. I'm so drawn to the adrenaline rush of seeing everything completed, that taking the time to be still and to silent and to reflect. In that season, I'd had a fourth kid that by surprise, we'd gone through Covid. My husband and I had been in kind of a trauma state for months. And I was like a combination of completely empty and also, like, on this weird adrenaline rush that I think it was that combination of ingredients that made me talk to Rachel Downey and say, I think I want to start a podcast. I had no idea where it would lead. Tiffany Sauder [00:02:28]: I had no vision of what it was going to become. I actually had the title before I even really understood what the content was be or what Pushing Record is all about. So, anyways, I provide that backdrop because we're going to talk in this little reflection on, like, the chapter we're coming from and what we're stepping into. And this is like a fresh chapter for the Scare Confident podcast and the Life of Ant project. So it was literally four years ago this month, it was April 2021, that we had this massive launch party for Scared Confident. I had. If you go back and look at the very beginning of the feed, if you haven't listened to those episodes, I had gone through this very visceral and very verbal and for me, very public, like, fear journey where I did my fear interview. I went and had conversations with my husband and some business leaders and friends and really started chasing down these remnants of fear that were just circling in my head and really had control over me and my ability to, like, be able to keep dreaming and keep moving forward. Tiffany Sauder [00:03:38]: And so the culmination of that, I wanted to do this great big party launching the podcast, but also to use that as, like, this Ebenezer moment for me to be able to go back to that party, to that event, and to be able to see in person the people who I love and who love me, to remind myself and to be able to show fear, that picture of those people that no matter how many times fear says to me, if you step out in boldness, if you tell your story, if you become who your heart wants to be and what you want to do, that your friends are going to make fun of you, they're going to abandon you, they're going to, like, talk behind your back. Like, that is what fear says to me. And I knew if I had this event and I had this, like, literal picture to be able to show fear, that says, no, they won't do that. My people who love me, they're going to show up for me that maybe once and for all I could quiet that voice. And, you know, as I've, like, done work in therapy and better understood, like, we all have weird childhood traumas. And one of mine was from a group of friends in sixth grade, and I thought they were my friends and I was being my sort of normal, naive, outgoing self, and I did or said something, I don't even remember what it was. And all of a sudden the group just, like, turned on me and I became like the butt of the joke. And I became, I don't know, I think in today's words, they would say bullied. Tiffany Sauder [00:05:10]: But it didn't really feel that. I just like, all of a sudden realized, like, these people are not on my side anymore. And it just all turned and got super weird. And so in that my sixth grade self, I mean, what was I, 11? Sort of housed this relationship record that, like, when you step out and when you do something boldly, the people who you think are your friends are going to make fun of you and they're going to turn on you. And it feels so silly to say out loud, but there's so much freedom that I get and being able to say it because that story has so much less hold on me every time I say it out loud to myself, every time I say, look, this is what happened. That was that little girl. Those were different people. They were a different age. Tiffany Sauder [00:05:58]: They probably would not behave that way today. We were all young and immature and figuring out life. And that record and that experience can have such a profound impact on my today if I let it. So, anyway, I did this big event, did this big launch party as a way to literally convince my conscious and subconscious self that no, when I have big dreams, when I want to do something silly and big, and that doesn't always totally make sense, that the people who love me are going to be there to support me, and they came out in force. And I will always have these pictures in my life as a reminder of that. So as a reminder that there's something special in me. And it was, I don't know, this project started in a deeply personal way, and it will always be part of the journey. So that was where it started. Tiffany Sauder [00:06:52]: But that person, like all things in life, with time, they evolve, right? The things around us change, the people that we love change, the way that we're doing life changes, the context in which we're creating changes. You know, my kids were younger then, they're older now. I've got a driver and I'm different. I've changed. And so here we are four years in at an inflection point of change, and I'm excited to share some of those changes with you. So the first one is the name of the podcast is going to be moving from Scared Confident to the Life of And so if you've subscribed to this feed, it's going to stay exactly in the same place. You're just going to see the COVID art is changing. And as we release new episodes, the beginning and the end, the trailer will change and we'll start to refer to this as the Life of And podcast. Tiffany Sauder [00:07:39]: Okay. So that new name, I just think more feels about, like, where we're going. It feels more like who I am today. And it makes everything fit underneath this, like, really tidy, like, grouping. The corporate partnerships are called Life Event. The website is that The Academy, it's just, like, tidier. It's easier to spell, it's easier to remember. So for all those reasons, the podcast will become the life event. Tiffany Sauder [00:08:03]: But in our core, I promise to remain as vulnerable with you. I think the spirit of the name Scare confident, like, really commanded, like, scared confident. It, like, for so many of us speaks to this fulcrum inside of us of, like, one side of me is terrified and one side of me is saying, go for it. And there's that fulcrum point in the very center where it's like, I can't live in the middle forever. What am I going to pick and how do I, like, be aware of that wrestling and that war? That core is still what I want this feed to feel like. And I hope that you'll hold me accountable to that vulnerability coming through in these, like, episodes forever. I think vulnerability is part of who I am as a person. As I get more mature and more experience and, you know, better at podcasting and like, all the things I hope that you hold me accountable and I want to hold myself accountable to working to say the most true thing I can so that we can really have an honest space on this microphone. Tiffany Sauder [00:09:12]: I think it's really important. So that's changing. The name of the podcast is changing, but the spirit is staying the same. The second thing that's changing is that the podcast, and for most of you listening, this will be invisible, but I think that it will certainly bring more listeners to the show. The podcast is going to become part of the IBJ Media Podcast Network. I am super excited to be one of the first shows coming underneath this umbrella. The IBJ has done an incredible of job of becoming the preeminent news voice for business in my home state of Indiana. And with this new podcast network and the incredible team that they're assembling, led by Chris Spangle, he's so great to work with. Tiffany Sauder [00:09:53]: They have just really big sights set on not only deepening the resources available to my fellow Hoosiers that I know and love and live beside, but growth far beyond that. So I'm really excited to bring the voice of the professional woman into the IBJ Media Network. I'm really excited to partner with this team that has just been really successful at building a very credible brand. And their heart lives in entrepreneurship, their heart lives in business, their heart lives in helping other people be successful. I know their owner really well and he is so authentically passionate about helping other people be successful. And so I'm really excited to be part of that toolbox and to get to work closely with the team over there. So, you know there'll be more things coming. I know is a part of this partnership. Tiffany Sauder [00:10:43]: We've been working on it for a few months. We're all really excited about it and excited to share that with you guys. So again, what's not changing, the show is still going to be available on all of your normal podcast media players. Spotify, Apple, YouTube, et cetera. Like, all that's the same. We will just be also promoted within the IBJ network. So that's cool. That's big news for those of us over here at the Life of And project. Tiffany Sauder [00:11:08]: Sam and I are really excited about it and excited for just like the next stage of growth. So. Okay, that's what's changing. So if you're just tuning in to this episode, I think it's relevant that I just like answer the question, like, what is a life of? And Tiffany, like, what do you mean by that? If you haven't listened to the last 250 episode and don't understand what I mean by that, I want to take just a couple minutes to sort of define what I mean by a Life of And. And I wish I had like a 10 second way of doing this, but that's just not who I am. So here we go. When I think back to my Life of And or before my Life of And before I believed that life could feel like that. I was so busy doing that I forgot completely how to be me. Tiffany Sauder [00:11:58]: I was so defined by my roles. If you asked me who I was, I would say I'm a CEO, I was a mom, I was a daughter, I was, you know, I went to church, I went to the gym. Like, these were roles that I played. But if you asked me, like, who are you, Tiffany? It would like make me cry because I felt so scared that I didn't know what to say to you. And that is what the opposite of a Life of And is about. To me, when I was so trapped by my commitments that I had lost the ability to dream or to imagine things could be, be or feel differently was like so stuck in do mode that I didn't feel. I didn't wish for things. I didn't dream, I didn't know who I was or what I liked. Tiffany Sauder [00:12:51]: I just knew I had a million commitments. I had emails to respond to. I had kids to feed. I had a house that needed to be cleaned. I had a car that needed to be filled up with gas. I had friends that I needed to text. I had so many things to do. I just knew I had a million commitments that I always felt behind on, and if I stopped doing any of them, everything would just fall apart. Tiffany Sauder [00:13:14]: And then when I started to realize that maybe it was just me that was falling apart, I pushed myself, I pushed my marriage, I pushed my business, like, literally to the absolute brink. And if you listen to these episodes, you start to learn some of that. And I started to realize that wanting to be all of those things, wanting to be good at everything, wanting to be successful, wanting good outcomes for me and the people I loved and the people who worked for me, like, wasn't enough. I had to figure out how to do and be all of these things sustainably. And first of all, I had to figure out who I was in this season and stage of life. And so, one thing at a time, I renegotiated my decisions. I outsourced. I said no to things, I said more confident yeses. Tiffany Sauder [00:14:02]: I reprioritized. I did the work to find myself and my family and my place in work that made it so that it all could work together. And that's what a Life of And is to me. It's about living a life of want to and not just a life of have to. Now, don't get me wrong. A life of Ann is not a meadow filled with sunflowers and daisies and birds singing all of the time, and absolutely nothing in it that you don't want to do. There's an enormous amount of discipline to a Life of And when you understand what it leads to, when you understand where you're going to have rest, when you understand where you are fed and your work is fed and your family is fed and all of those things are working together. Instead of you feeling like you have to be this literal hero with a cape on, doing all of the things all of the time for all of the people, and you get none of yourself. Tiffany Sauder [00:14:57]: You're just exhausted and tired and resentful of all of these things that you thought you wanted. That is no way to live. That is no person to become. And so a life of Ann does not wait for retirement to learn who you are. A Life of And does not wait for a big restart to figure things out. A Life of And is about saying no. Today I start. Today I start building a life of want to. Tiffany Sauder [00:15:26]: So what is the show about? Well, I want this to certainly be encouragement. I hope when you listen to these episodes that you are like, man, I feel encouraged. All right, here we go. Like, yes, that was a pep Talk. But I also want this to be a show of how to. I had so many people in my life encouraging me, like in the dreams that I have, encouraging me to, you know, have a big family, encouraging me to, you know, work outside of the home, encouraging me to be an entrepreneur, encouraging me to step into boards, encouraging me to be a speaker, encouraging me to step into my talent. But it got to the place where I was like, but how the heck do I do it all? How? How? Like, practically, how, how? And I want this. I hope if I fulfill my mission for this, you walk away from episodes saying, I got a practical tip for how to make this simpler, for how to communicate better, how to be more organized, how to put systems in place, how to have communication work in our family in a way that we can continue to say yes to complexity, to say yes to things around the table. Tiffany Sauder [00:16:30]: And we still feel connected. So it'll be a combination of my lived experiences, things in my past, like, hey, I screwed this up. Here's what I learned and here is what I know. And also real time reporting from my actual life. Like, we have a 16 year old, we're learning how to do this. She has a car, we're figuring out her budget, we're figuring out boundaries, and in real time, we'll share things like that. But my greatest happiness, sincerely, is found in helping others. I want to be a resource that makes your life easier, helps you find that sitter so that you can go out, you know, go to your event or go on a date with your spouse. Tiffany Sauder [00:17:04]: A place where you can find a dress that you're going to love. And you know, I feel like in my friend group, I'm definitely the like, ask Tiff. I bet she knows somebody who that, that, that. And so I hope that this podcast feed feels like a place where you walk away more energized towards the choices you've made. You feel less alone in the journey that you're on, and you get some very practical, helpful takeaways that will actually make it all a little easier. So thank you for listening to this new chapter episode. It's exciting. It's a bit nostalgic for me in some ways. Tiffany Sauder [00:17:39]: I can't believe we're here. I'm so excited about the possibilities in front of us with this new partnership with the ibj and I'm really excited for the just confidence and trust that they have in us to create something really special together. I hope you'll tune in after this episode. We're going to be jumping into our Working Parent Summer Survival series. It's going to be six episodes long, talking about everything from elementary kids to teenagers. I'm going to do a review on Uber Teen and how to like make food simple in the summer. Those are the things that we're going to be talking about and so also have some super practical resources for you. So I hope you'll tune into that summer series. Tiffany Sauder [00:18:16]: Summer is a fun time, but it also can be a hard time because you know, all the things collapse and change. So thanks for listening and I hope that you will continue to get a ton of just value out of this feed. And I just thank you guys for joining me and for cheering me on. So thanks so much and I'll chat soon. Thanks for listening to the Life of And this is your weekly reminder to keep making bold choices, saying clear yeses, and holding space for what matters most. As always, if you like this episode, I'd love for you to drop a review and share it with your friend. It's the fastest way that we can grow the show. Thanks for joining us. Tiffany Sauder [00:18:52]: I'll see you next time.