302: Life of And Toolkit: Family Meeting

[00:00:00] Tiffany Sauder: We always get together as a team once a week to say, Hey, what's coming? What's going? What's happening? What resources do we need to be successful? We do that almost automatically in our professional lives, and it seems like this very foreign concept to do it in our personal lives. I'm telling you, just like your teams at work operate with more efficiency, more clarity, and more connectedness.

[00:00:19] Tiffany Sauder: When you do that once a week at work, the same thing will happen in your family. I am Tiffany Sauder, entrepreneur, wife, mom to four girls and a woman figuring it out just like you. Come on, let's go build your Life of And welcome back to another episode of Life of And today we're just gonna unpack one tool from the Life of And toolbox.

[00:00:40] Tiffany Sauder: If you are constantly getting to the end of the week and being like, ah, it was so hard. I'm so tired. I want you to start doing this one very simple thing. There's two meetings I want you to put on your calendar. One is the planning meeting and one is a family meeting. Okay. A planning meeting and a family meeting.

[00:00:57] Tiffany Sauder: And I'm gonna unpack what they are and how they are totally sanity savers for me, when we're running into really, really busy seasons, which we're in one right now, we're living in our in-laws house, like I'm driving kids to school, picking them up, it's just like kind of bananas. And this tool is a total sanity saver for me.

[00:01:14] Tiffany Sauder: So planning meeting. This is me once a week with my calendar. I literally have this scheduled on my calendar for Friday morning. That's when I do mine and I have a list on that calendar. I'm like gonna pull up my phone right now. That shows what it is that I do when I go through my planning meeting. It's like a checklist.

[00:01:33] Tiffany Sauder: When we are like getting ready to do this studio setup today, they have a checklist of like, lights, camera, no setting, blah, blah, blah. Same thing as you're planning your week, you wanna make sure that you've gone through every kid's. Practice schedule. You wanna make sure that you've gone through your schedule, your travel, what's coming up.

[00:01:51] Tiffany Sauder: So I do a scan through the next two weeks and look at what travel is happening, who needs to be where, what like outfit do I need to buy for an event coming up. Or my daughter is the wicked witch and a play and so we have to get black boots. Like all of those kinds of things. I make a list of what needs to happen.

[00:02:10] Tiffany Sauder: And I put on my calendar when it's going to happen. So I'll literally put like a task reminder on Tuesday after dinner that says, order black boots for IVs, like play, that kind of thing. So my list is this. I go through my goals for of what I'm working on. So that keeps me focused on my priorities, and then I start looking at all the things that are taking my time.

[00:02:33] Tiffany Sauder: So I go through my daughter's school schedules, their sports schedules. I go through my husband's travel schedule. I go through my work and what's coming up, and I also plan what it is that we're going to eat for the coming week. So for me, I usually cook three meals a week, Thursdays leftovers, Friday we eat dinner out.

[00:02:51] Tiffany Sauder: So I pick three dinners that we're gonna make and I get the Instacart order done. So these are the things I'm doing. My planning meeting, I'm looking at what's coming. What needs to happen, what time is like needs to be set up so that we can do our week in a way that feels like in a very proactive posture.

[00:03:07] Tiffany Sauder: Like we wanna be on offense going into the coming week. So that's Friday morning. I'm like planning, getting Instacart, even like kind of taking a scan through the pantry to see do we have snacks? We kind of have like our standard fare. That's my planning meeting. It takes me about 45 minutes to get through that.

[00:03:26] Tiffany Sauder: Which may sound like a lot of time on the surface, but seven minutes a day times seven days a week is 49 minutes. So if you are in a reactive, chaotic posture for seven minutes a day, which you probably are, you can take all of that little bundle of time and put it on a 45 minute planning meeting on your calendar, and you will save yourself a lot of irritation and frustration.

[00:03:48] Tiffany Sauder: And then I'm not bugged with my kids. We should not show up at our house after work and be surprised that everybody needs to eat like. We know that's coming. Dinner is something we actually can be proactive about. So I know meal planning and some of that can be really hard for people, and maybe I'll take a couple minutes to dive into how I do that.

[00:04:06] Tiffany Sauder: But what I want you to think about is having a planning meeting. Look ahead. You are the chief operating officer of your home. If you don't know what's coming, nobody does. And if nobody knows what's coming, you're all gonna be in a reactive posture. For the coming days and everybody sucks when they're reactive.

[00:04:25] Tiffany Sauder: So, um, and nobody's nice to each other and just like feels gross to be in a family. So that's the first one. Planning meeting. The second is the family meeting, so we do ours on Sunday evening. And we have a pretty, we have like a starting point agenda that we can share with you. We'll link that document and show notes, but really what it is, it's where I go through the, the, the week with the family.

[00:04:48] Tiffany Sauder: Again, I'm the chief operating officer and I say, here's what I have for everybody. And then I ask them two questions. What am I missing and what do you need from me in a way that is kind, I'm in a place where I can be proactive. If you tell me right now what it is that you need. I have a rule in my house called no same day solving, no same day solving.

[00:05:12] Tiffany Sauder: You have too much going in and on in our house. For me to be like reactive, Rachel, just being like, oh, no problem. You need 13 gum drops to the school at 1207, no problem. No, I can't do that. If you tell me that on Tuesday, and it needs to happen at Tuesday. If you tell me Sunday. And I have a chance to set it up or I have a chance to get some of my support people in place to help me with those things.

[00:05:34] Tiffany Sauder: And a hundred percent I am so here for you babe, and I can help you with that. My, for my kids or for my husband. But same day and the day already booked, like the flight path has been determined and changing that is very, very difficult. And something else is gonna get set off course. And so I have trained my family to say, we have no same day solving.

[00:05:56] Tiffany Sauder: And the way that we can all get ahead is you bring the answer to those two questions. What have I missed? So you need to go look at your schedule and see what's going on. And the second is, what do you need from me? So it could be that you need me to bring dinner to the high school because you're not gonna be able to come home.

[00:06:12] Tiffany Sauder: It could be that you need pink socks because it's breast cancer awareness night at the high school football game. It could be who knows what wild list of things they're gonna ask me for. And I'm like. Can totally plan when you bring it to me proactively. I wanna take a quick moment to thank my partners at Share Your Genius.

[00:06:32] Tiffany Sauder: For the past four years, they have been an incredible part of my journey. Behind the Microphone, share Your Genius is a content and podcast production agency that helps leaders and brands bring their message to life. So whether you're trying to find your voice, develop a content strategy, or get your leader behind a microphone.

[00:06:48] Tiffany Sauder: They're gonna help you make it simple, strategic, and impactful. Another really big thing that happens at the family meeting is expectation setting for everyone. I tell my family, here's how the week's gonna feel. The first part of the week is gonna feel connected and clear because we, nobody has events Monday through Wednesday and we're all gonna be home for dinner.

[00:07:08] Tiffany Sauder: The back part of the week is gonna feel like it moves real fast. So how do we be prepared for that? The little kids, it's a big thing for them to know when you're gonna be home and when you're gonna be away. And do not underestimate the control it gives. Even your youngest kid, I mean, I'm like starting at like three or four for them to know what's coming is incredibly powerful and respectful and it gives them agency over how you can help them prepare for it.

[00:07:35] Tiffany Sauder: So I always go through when JR's gonna be traveling, if I'm gonna be. Gone when they wake up in the morning. All that kind of stuff just removes surprise. I hate to be surprised. Kids hate to be surprised, like in a bad way. And so it removes all the element of surprise and it gives them agency and control over it.

[00:07:54] Tiffany Sauder: So again, we can all feel like we're proactively operating through the week. We're not like, oh my word mom, I didn't know you were gonna be here. And it made me feel weird when I got on the bus and somebody else got me ready. Like all of that. They've pre-experience all those emotions before we get to the day.

[00:08:09] Tiffany Sauder: And so they can start that morning, even if it starts differently. They knew it was coming and they can start in a way that feels proactive. So that's the family meeting. If you have time. We also try to do something fun. Doesn't always happen. We play a cart. We're like super into games as a family, not like settlers of Kaan games like.

[00:08:31] Tiffany Sauder: War, you know, that kind of game. A quick game that takes 10, 15, 20 minutes where we can all play together, kind of laugh and have some fun, or have a silly question that you pass around that sort of gets the family just to develop some cultural experiences together. Our kids are really far apart, so we can go in different directions almost every day of the week if we are not careful and thoughtful about pulling us all together.

[00:08:57] Tiffany Sauder: So again, as Chief Operating Officer, sort of the administer of our time as a family, that's something that we try to do is like pull everybody together, do our family meeting, and then do something fun at the end of it. I can almost promise you that if you do this for six weeks, you'll feel. A very different kind of week that starts to show up for you and everybody in your family.

[00:09:22] Tiffany Sauder: Test it for six weeks. Tell your family we're gonna test this idea of a family meeting for six weeks. That's not very many. If we get through all six, maybe you'll go out for dinner or go out for ice cream or do something fun just as a way of like, Hey, look, we put all the points on the scoreboard, like let's make this fun.

[00:09:39] Tiffany Sauder: And ask everybody, do you feel more prepared for your week? Do you feel like I'm supporting you more? Do you feel like there's less conflict in the home? Do you feel like we're on the same page? Think about the teams that we're on at work, the companies that we lead, the projects that we run, we always get together as a team once a week to say, Hey, what's coming?

[00:10:00] Tiffany Sauder: What's going? What's happening? What resources do we need to be successful? We do that almost automatically in our professional lives. And it seems like this very foreign concept to do it in our personal lives. I'm telling you, just like your teams at work operate with more efficiency, more clarity, and more connectedness, when you do that at once a week at work, the same thing will happen in your family.

[00:10:21] Tiffany Sauder: So I can't wait for you to tell me how it goes. Try it for six weeks and uh, let me know. I hope this is helpful. Planning meeting, family meeting. No same day solving. To help you get started, we have like a template you can start with to kinda help you get. Rolling LinkedIn show notes, so go download it, take a look, and, uh, excited to hear how it works for you.

[00:10:42] Tiffany Sauder: Thanks for joining this episode of Life of And, and Can't Wait. To see you back next week. Thanks for listening to the Life of And this is your weekly reminder to keep making bold choices, saying clear yeses and holding space for what matters most. As always, if you like this episode, I'd love for you to drop a review and share it with your friend.

[00:11:02] Tiffany Sauder: It's the fastest way that we can grow the show. Thanks for joining us. I'll see you next time.